Michael Jackson Joke List

It doesn't take long to generate a laundry list of Michael Jackson jokes. Some just funny, some truly tasteless. Not Guilty? Gimme a break!

NEW VIDEO: Check out MAD TV's Parody Song "Neverland Ranch"

Knock Knock
who's there?
Little boy Blue
Little Boy Blew who???
Michael Jackson!!!

Q. What mammal changes colors?
A. Michael Jackson

Q. Why did Michael Jackson shop at K-Mart?
A. Because he heard little boys pants were half off.

Q. What's the worst stain to try and remove from a little boy's underpants?
A. Michael Jackson's makeup.

Q. Why does Michael Jackson disappear for a couple hours after one of his little friends leaves?
A. It takes that long to get the bubble gum off his dick.

Q. What did the lady at the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A. I believe you’re in my son.

Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy!

Q. What does Michael Jackson reminisce about?
A. Blowing his first nose.

Q. What was Michael Jackson thinking on his wedding night?
A. "Now Lisa-Marie can give me a little boy of my own."

Q. What were Lisa-Marie's newlywed complaints about Michael Jackson?
A1. He leaves the lid off the mascara, causing it to dry out.
A2. That battleaxe Liz Taylor never calls before she comes over.
A3. She suspects he's using her to get to Elvis' bones.
A4. He touches her kids more than he touches her.

Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!

Q. How do we know Michael Jackson is guilty?
A. Several children have fingered him

Michael Jackson was on a ship with 100 cub scouts when it hit an iceberg and started to sink. The captain announced, "We're sinking! Everyone abandon ship!" Michael Jackson asked, "What about the children?" The captain replied, "Screw the children!" Michael Jackson looked around eagerly and said, "Do we have time?"

Q. Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book?
A. The In's and Out's of Child Rearing

Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A. One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.

Q. Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A. He heard boy's pants were half-off.

Q. What's brown and in a baby's diaper?
A. Michael Jackson's hand.

Q. How can you tell if Michael Jackson has company?
A. There's a big wheel parked outside his house.

Did Wacko Jacko commit the attack-o?
Is he guilty of an illegal fudge pack-o?
Cut the man some slack-o.
It's evidence we lack-o.
Maybe he just squirted lotion on the kid's back-o.

Q. What is black and comes in a little white can?
A. Michael Jackson.

Q. What did Michael Jackson say when he got back to Neverland Ranch after his arrest?
A. "You know, I feel like a new boy."

Q. What do Michael Jackson and a jockey have in common?
A. They both ride three year olds.

Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A. From a catalog.

Q. What does Michael Jackson consider a perfect 10?
A. Two 5 year olds.

Q. Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
A. He saw someone blowing bubbles and thought he'd join in.

Q. Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
A. He thought it was a delivery service.

Q. When is it time for bed at neverland ranch?
A. When the big hand touches the little hand.

NEED MORE! Check out MAD TV's Parody Song "Neverland Ranch"